Don't laugh at the title, even I can't stop laughing.
Every year I say I'm back and I go on an hiatus so I'm not even going to announce this. It's been years and I promise these writings may not even feel like the old Tolu because mehn life has happened.
Why did I stop writing? I dunno, in between a high demanding job and 2 kids, I can't keep up with life. Before the pandemic I was literally at a breaking point. I had a 3 hr commute into the city, daily drop-offs for my daughter before the long train ride to work, work that was high profile and really demanding and still finding the time to be a wife and a mother. I remember my parents coming to visit and saying you need to find a balance it's too much but I usually do too much. It makes me feel like I'm truly living. Just before the pandemic I remember talking to God that something had to give, I didn't know how it was going to happen but I knew it couldn't continue like this.
Then the pandemic hit, at first it felt like a joke then things spiraled, we were all working from home, (one thing I miss from my old job), my daughter was home (one thing I wish I could do before the pandemic was spending more time with her), I was expecting a new life and I could spend more time with God ( I usually would squeeze this in on train rides and sorts).
Another thing that happened was re-prioritization, started with the pandemic but was more emphasized when I gave birth to my son( I almost died, story for another day, I still shudder remembering it) but it kept things in perspective for me on what I had been chasing.
I'm not trying to downplay lives that were lost or those who fell sick, this was gut wrenching and sad especially how everything was handled by those in power(still story for another day, I guess you get the drift that we have many stories to catch up on). Loss of lives based on mismanagement, still thinking of who would give account of this on the last day but I try to see the silver lining in everything. I would be a liar to say the Rona has not been good to me. Feels weird to type but it was the jolt I needed.
Loss of human interactions yes but I truly enjoy my own company, haha. My hubby and I were veterans of working from home before I changed jobs so it doesn't feel like we're in a pandemic, just 2 kids added into the mix. Plus, he gives me the comedic intermissions I need so I guess I can't complain. My daughter joins in the mischief as well. Please pray I can keep my son on the good side because he is literally gentle, peaceful, me(haha).
Why am I back? I've been leaving a couple of comments on IG recently, I never used to but I can't bite my mouth anymore on the monstrosities I see online. An old secondary school (high school for my US folks) friend saw my comment and typed, 'I'm still waiting to read your book'. I had a brief moment of sober reflection because this has been a dream from my younger years even in University(College for my US folks,lol) people would say I studied the wrong course. I'm glad to finally I announce I didn't, I love my job(can't believe I could even type that) and it provides the fuel to publish any book you're all ever going to read so that's that....lol.
So here's to holding myself accountable to write more often, how often I dunno. Trust and believe, it wouldn't be 4 yrs from now though. Hopefully when I take account in the next few years, this blog is functional, a book is published and I still get to do what I love daily and be there for God, family and people.
Why do I write? It's a form of release in this ever changing world and it usually helps the readers. I've not cracked the code to life's answers but I can help in my own little way. I know it's going to be tasking, especially in a world where everything is becoming instant. Writing(good) takes a great deal of sacrifice, dedication but I plan to give it my best. After all, when all is said and done, I want to be able to say like the OneRepublic lyric - ' I did it all, owned every second that this world could give and with every broken bone I swear I lived'.
And may virtue continually flow from the heart, to the pen, to the paper.....
